In December our Stake President challenged us to read The Book of Mormon in six months. Now, I love The Book of Mormon, I do, but your girl has a hard time reading that book within a year, six months? That seemed IMPOSSIBLE! Guess what? It wasn't. I finished in four months, and I've started it over again! So you know how three sentences ago I said I love The Book of Mormon, well this challenge has made me fall IN love with it.
I've always heard we need to "liken all scriptures unto us." (1st Nephi 19:23) I've always heard it, but never applied it. I think it's because until recently, I read the scriptures to say I read the scriptures. I also read them so I wouldn't get kidnapped, or murdered during the night. I know, I know, stupid. Anyway, when President Marsh instructed us to read The Book of Mormon in six months, it was also around the time my anxiety started. I began to notice each time I picked it up, a peace would consume me. There were many days it was the only thing that could bring me any peace, so I read, and read, and read.
Each time I read it, I use a different highlighter to mark verses that stick out to me. It amazes me that I always find new verses that answer questsions, provide peace, and strengthen me. When I started from the beginning a few weeks ago, two verses filled my heart with absolute peace and an understanding that Heavenly Father knows me, and knows my struggle.
I was reading 1st Nephi 7: 17 - 18. Nephi's brothers have bound him with cords, and want to kill him, as they were not pleased with Nephi's encouragement to have faith in the Lord. Now, because I'm human, I sometimes like to begin fighting my battles alone, and then when that's unsuccessful, which it always is, I turn to the Lord. But Nephi, he had such faith in the Lord, and he turned to Him immediately. Verses 17 and 18 read:
"17 But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.
18 And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet, and I stood before my brethren, and I spake unto them again."
I'm not bound by actual cords, but I am bound. I am bound by anxiety. I have prayed many, many prayers to my Heavenly Father pleading that he will take it away, take it all away. He never did; however, when I read these verses I realized I was asking Heavenly Father to do ALL the work, so that I wouldn't have to do any. I was demanding something that couldn't be done without faith. I never lacked faith in my Heavenly Father, I lacked faith in myself. My prayers have changed. I no longer asked to be "healed." I now know how to exercise my faith in Heavenly Father, so that we, along with my Savior, Jesus Christ, can unbind my cords. I know there is no cure for anxiety. I know I will deal with this the rest of my life, but I know Heavenly Father will send His Son, Jesus Christ, to take my extended hand, and walk with me through the struggles I will face in this life.
I'm so grateful for the challenge my Stake President, President Marsh, extended to us last December. I'm grateful it gave me an opportunity to deepen my testimony of The Book of Mormon. I know this book is another testament of Jesus Christ, and that it can not only bless my life, but any of you that may chose to read it. I have a testimony that The Book of Mormon can absolutely change lives, as it has changed mine. I have a firm testimony of the love our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ has for each and everyone one of us. I'm so grateful to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know it's Doctrine is true, and that Jesus Christ is at the head of this Church.
As in my last post, if you have any questions about my faith, or are interested in reading The Book of Mormon, please feel free to ask me, visit www.lds.org, or www.mormon.org.
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