Death

By: Kaitlin on 8:05 PM

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{Before you read this, I want you to know I'm not doing this for attention or pity. My heart is heavy tonight and writing helps me cope. And, I want to let people know they are not alone when it comes to having a loved one pass.}

Have you ever watched someone die? {Morbid question, I know} Have you ever saw that distant look in their eye? And then heard them talk to someone, someone you can't see? 

I have. I am.

My grandma has Plasma Cell Myloma. It's a cancer of the Plasma Cells. The cancer doesn't kill them, but an infection will. 

She fell two weeks ago on Sunday. She had bruising on the brain and had to go to a rehabilitation center.  She didn't receive the care she should have, and developed an infection.

I'm spending the night with my Nanny tonight at the Hospice Home. She's complementing outfits of people I can't see, but I know she can. It makes me wonder if it's her mom and dad coming to check on their baby girl. Maybe telling her everything's going to be ok! 

It's uneasy knowing she won't be with me much longer. It's something I could go my whole life without experiencing, and be fine. But, no. I'm here with her and I feel peace. Strange huh?

I know where I came from and I know where I'm going when my time is up on this Earth. I know where my Grandma came from and I know where she will go when her time is up. I know it's a place where suffering and pain doesn't exist. I know it's a place of happiness and peace. I know it's a place she's ready to see. 

I believe that she may be able to see close friends and family that have gone before her, and I believe that's who she is talking to at times. I believe those people are here to comfort her during this time. 

I feel death is a lot harder on the people left behind. The Hubands and Wives. The children. The Grandchildren. The friends. But I have the comfort of knowing this isn't goodbye. It's an extended see you later. 

I feel death is somewhat of a testament that God lives and that he loves his children. He loves us so much that when our time is up here on this Earth, he wants us to come be with him. 

I know I will see my Nanny again. I will know who she is and she will know me. And, I know you will see your loved ones who have passed too. Know that. Believe that. 

God is real. Death is real. While there is a time to grieve, and I will probably be grieving for a while, I do know there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. It's a light of hope. A light of love. A light of peace.

Hug your family members. Never hesitate to tell them you love them. Time is short here, and we never know when it will be a loved ones time to pass on, so love them. Laugh with them. Enjoy them. 

-Kaitlin

{I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Also known as The Mormon Church. I may have said some things in this post that maybe you don't believe, and that's ok, but it's what I believe. I feel when it comes to death my Faith has taught me there is always hope when there is loss. And I hope through this post, that I may have shared some hope with you. 

If you would like to know more about what I believe please feel free to visit the website www.lds.org and find your own hope}